Q: What's green and pecks on trees all day?
A: Woody the Wood Pickle!
Q: How did the mule get into the locked barn?
A: With the Don-Key!
Q: What's underground and goes 80 miles an hour?
A: Mole on a motorbike.
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"Favorite Quickie Comebacks"
Bully: Hey, just how stupid do you think I am?
You: The only time you've got anything on your mind is when you're wearing a hat!
Coach: What kind of marks do you expect to get in PE?
You: Underwater marks--all below C-level!
School Nurse: Your poison ivy will be all gone by tomorrow.
You: Don't make rash promises.
Teacher: Why were you late to school?
You: I passed a sign that said SCHOOL AHEAD; SLOW DOWN.
Boy: Did you take a bath?
You: No, why? Is one missing?
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