Good Looks, Model Physique

Sometimes I meet people on the metro who think I'm a celebrity, or that maybe they've seen me in a magazine or something. When I tell them they're mistaken and I'm just a simple civil servant waiting to go to Africa, they ask how, being so normal, I can look so good and stay so fit. This is what I tell them:

I live in the Randolph Towers Building on North 9th Street on the 7th floor. My name is Hunter Dreidame. I'm 23 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.