With that good news, I decided I should go over to Macy's and get some black undershirts (obviously). Since I'd saved so much money, I decided it wouldn't be a terrible idea to purchase, along with 2 black Alfani muscle shirts, some new boxer briefs, and a 3 pack of Emporio Armani tanks. When my total came to almost $90 and the cashier told me signing up for the Macy's card would save me 20% - today! - I jumped at it. Apparently, along with that discount, my final bill in the mail will be reduced by an additional 20%. Booya!
With that, I went home; it was time to check out the sweet new undershirts. Well, the first thing I did was open the Emporio Armani shirts and unfold them. As I unfolded them, I saw a black lump and withdrew my hand - I hate spiders, and it very well could have been spiders - but then I thought it was probably just a clump of thread (why there would be a clump of black thread in a package of all white shirts, I don't know). Lo and behold, upon further inspection I realized that not only had I gotten super discounts while shopping - I had also come home with a free cricket!
Being a first time Emporio buyer, I didn't realize that crickets are actually standard fare for E.A. Polo has the horse, Lacoste has the alligator, Emporio Armani has the crunchy, dead cricket. His leg snapped off as I pulled him from the shirt.
Here he is again, zoomed in on my phone:
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